G-d’s editorial Hey, G-D here and I’m pretty annoyed. Even though this cycle just started, I can foresee the future. I can see that this is going be annoying, redundant, and repetitive. I think that B’nai Israel is going to this many years to come, and that they are never going to learn. Also, they have Ehud. Not to be prejudice, but left handed, really, I’m starting to second guess myself. Although that does have some benefits, like CSA (Castle Security Agency) and his sword. It should make it easier to sneak in a certain double edged blade... Anyway, this could actually turn out well. Speaking of well, I’m well out of things to say. Think. Think. Think. DING! I wonder how long there will be peace after Ehud kills the king, that Eglon... he, Egg-lon eggs are a bit fatty, that would explain it. And all that fat, makes Ehud’s job easier. Not that he needs it, he still is strong. Strong with the lord! mwahahahaHA. I really need to sum this all up, and then editorial it. Bad pun. So, long story short, I’m annoyed, B’nai Israel is going to need more shoftim, Ehud’s great. >G-D NA G-d’slastname | Rashi Rashi hear, and have got to tell you, I have things to say. Look at Ehud, a left-handed shofet. Like a black president, what ever a president is. Also, he has a shriveled right hand, AS I said in my commentary. This would make him less suspecting on the field of espionage. This makes it easier for killing King Eglon. Especially with his short 18” dagger concealed on his right side. Making Eglon, as I said that fat one earlier in my lifetime, kill himself. As the main book of Shoftim says, his fat folded over the blade. Gross to the extent that I have some things to say. The Tanah is a bit too descriptive, and yet not at the same time. It will tell us all the details on death, it will not describe the ten commandments. Of course, that’s where I come in. And then, with Ehud, if killing their leader isn’t enough, he went and gathered the troops. How mean. I’m guessing it will be like something in the future, like in persia and around that. Not all enemies are bad. And, he tricks people. How long until one of his own. Sincerely, Rabbi Rashi |
Readers, I am your editor
So recently you might of seen some mistakes. Sadly, this letter isn’t on that. It is on the time period that he lived in. During the time of the Shoftim, leadership meant sacrificing your life and not being able to see your family. And, with Ehud’s double edged sword, as seen in Judges 3:16, he will smite Eglon. All the other shoftim did so, smite their oppressors, either with or without killing themselves. And, with a forgetful B’nei Israel to deal with, Shoftim really have to watch out. As proven in Judges 3:7, when they did “what was evil in the sight of the LORD.” This makes it so that the Shofet has to be chosen, and prove them destroy their oppressors. Of course, then the shofet has to go back and maintain order if he/she is still alive. And we will all be great, and save the world once more with our Jewishness. And, if we are lucky, the Shoftim will come back alive.
-Dylan Shekter
